I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
