that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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