He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
