She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
