not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
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