FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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