She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I fill condoms, not promises.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
