You're so nebulous sometimes
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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