Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
