She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
