She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
