Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
