Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
