I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
