Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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