I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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