So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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