I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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