It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Even my vagina gasped.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
These tits shall not be calmed
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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