The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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