kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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