Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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