And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
