i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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