my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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