white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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