I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
