I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
