What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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