low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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