so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
he told me I talked like a deaf person
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
