I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
he's gonorrhea incarnate
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
