my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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