Moan for me like Helen Keller
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
