I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
