My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
