this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
