the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
