8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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