I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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