I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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