My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
True strength comes from lack of pants
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
