You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
