I am full of burrito and curiosity
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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