I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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