i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
