I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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