Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
