i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
