i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
