Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
one might say we're banned from that church
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
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