Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
