i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I think I just sharted jello shots
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
