I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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